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28 May 2011

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LeeAnn Balbirona

This is very true. When I lost David last year, I gradually developed a feeling that we had lost our 'family ambassador,' maybe I was remembering Lewis' writing from decades ago. I don't consciously remember reading that bit though I've read that book a few times. :) I feel that perhaps I have been given some extra graces since his passing and one of them has to do with having more strength to deal with the situation of it just being me now between the kids and the World. Whereas before I would have naturally deferred some discipline, some relationships, business dealings and so on to David, now by default it is all on me and slowly I am rising to meet those challenges daily, not because of my own strength, I believe, but because of the goodness of God who has given me a share of His own strength to deal with it all. Feeling judged still comes with the territory, though I realize more now how little I should care for others' opinions so long as we are doing what is right in God's eyes. There's a complexity of feelings about the whole situation but generally I would say I have had to become tougher on the kids at times than I would like to--what we used to call David's "Sergeant Dad" mode--to keep the kids in line. Before I might have been "wait until your father gets home!" but no more. My relationship with other moms has changed somewhat and I'm not sure if I can articulate yet quite how...especially in light of the first point of your post, self-editing one's opinion on the internet! :D haha

Erin, thank you for blogging. Yours is my favorite blog that I look forward to reading whenever there is a new post. I've recently taken down my own blog for a while. I need to refine my focus and figure out what it is I want to share in that format going forward. God bless & have a great weekend. :)

bearing

Aw, those are kind words, LeeAnn. :-)

I think of you and your kids a lot. Sending you prayers as you come up on this summer.

Jamie

Thanks for the kind words and the thoughtful post. :-)

LeeAnn Balbirona

Thank you, Erin.

Fortunately, I have a brand-new niece just born this week. We'll make our first visit later this summer and distract ourselves for a bit.

They are in Milwaukee...I googled to see how far Minneapolis was from there, but probably too far to get together in person, I'm guessing. We'll be there 8/18-22 in case you happen to have plans to be in Wisconsin. :)

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