My cell phone alarm goes off at six so that I can take my temperature. You know the drill.
This morning, when the digital thermometer beeped, I took it out of my mouth and squinted at it, using the light from my cell phone screen to read it.
(My last thermometer had a backlight, but it was a crappy pink baseball bat of a Walgreens thermometer that I threw out after two cycles. The one I replaced it with was Canadian, and you have to push the buttons twice to get Fahrenheit, and it doesn't have a backlight, but it's better than the Walgreens one.)
Anyway, this morning. This morning my thoughts, on squinting at my thermometer, went like this:
"....uh. how disappointing. i was expecting a higher temperature."
"....wait a minute."
"....this doesn't make sense."
"....i really hope this thermometer is not broken."
"....i can't even read this. my eyes are so blurry." *squint harder* "why so many numbers?"
Several more seconds passed before I realized what I was trying to read was the lot and model number from the back of the thermometer, plus the words "Made in India."
Yeah, you guessed it. Disgusted, I went back to sleep. Good thing it has a last-temp-recall.