Down to one for a week.

This week, I only have Milo.  Oscar, age 5, went to visit his grandparents for a whole week.  I am using the extra time to get the upcoming month's homeschooling materials together, but also to spend some rare time connecting with Milo, on Milo's terms. 

We have done a few things we don't normally do, like go out to lunch together and visit the local municipal zoo.  But it's not those things that have made the days so wonderful.

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I find that I'm overflowing with a kind of affection for this little guy that I'm not used to having.  I am not sure why.  Maybe it is a kind of flashback to the days when I only had one little boy, back when I thought that he was the most amazing little person in the entire world and I COULD. NOT. IMAGINE. ever loving another child as much as I loved that first little one.

Or maybe it is just that I have had the time to really look at him, really listen to him.  A five-year-old occupies so much attention, and while I will always have enough love to go around, I can only spend so much attention and time.  I feel like I'm on vacation, my heart is so light and... not irritable.  Everything he does seems charming, even breaking a dozen eggs into the stewpot and half a dozen more on the floor.  (really)

Or maybe it is a little bit like romance, like finally getting to spend a week together with just you and your beloved.  The way (*cough* I'm told) that can rekindle long-forgotten charms and affections.  Sure, you always love each other, but it has been so long since you noticed the way he smiles, or really listened to that one thing he always says that always warms your heart.

And Milo?  Does he miss his brother?  He talks about him, for sure.  Mostly while he watches the big trucks trundling back and forth, building our new house.  I think he is thinking:  Too bad Oscar can't see all this going on. 

But I think he's really enjoying having me all to himself.  At bedtime we cuddle up and he brings me one book and has me read it to him six times, and you know what?  I'm actually doing it.  When will I get the chance again?  Then I give him the book and say, "Now you read it to me, Milo," and he turns the pages and says a few words (accurately) for each scene. 

He's really so wonderful.  Why don't I notice, most of the time?  I hope I can remember this happiness, this breathtakingly strong love for my second son, and carry it with me after the week is over.