After a disastrous haircut at a Great Clips last year (I said "undercut," the stylist heard "layer it"), I swore off discount haircutting places for good, and started going to an unpretentious, urban, hipster-decor'ed little salon (moderately priced but a real salon! they hand me a cup of coffee when I walk in the door! what luxury!) about a mile south of here. I tend to make appointments at the last minute, so I get whichever stylist is around.
"Christine" was my most recent stylist. We chatted a bit about odds and ends in the neighborhood, since the salon had recently moved to a new building. I told her about my Great Clips experience. She told me she once worked at the Great Clips near the University of Minnesota campus. I know the one, I've been there a few times.
That work bored her, she said, because "all the young guys there want the same haircut. You do the same thing, short on the sides, texture on top, and 'put some stuff in it,' all day long. Frat boys." She chuckled and then added, "And then they come in right before they leave for basic training and are scared to death. 'Make it regulation! But don't make it too short on top! I want some texture in it! Put some stuff in it!'" I asked her if she secretly enjoyed shaving the 'frat boys' heads, and she just laughed. "I'd be careful not to show it. You've got to stay professional."
Then she went on: "Sometimes, you won't believe the kinds of people who come in. Do you know, once when I was working there --- I still can't believe it, of all people, who wound up in my chair? A staffer for Norm Coleman. I couldn't believe it. Of all the people to wind up in my chair." (Norm Coleman is the Republican Senator from Minnesota. ) I raised my eyebrows.
She went on: "I just couldn't believe it. A staffer for Norm Coleman! And I had to cut his hair! The whole time I was just" -- here she pantomimed stabbing me in the head with the scissors -- "but I kept my cool. I just kept thinking, I can't believe of all the people who could wind up in MY chair, it was that guy."
"Did you guys talk politics?"
"No, not at all, I didn't say anything and he didn't say anything. I just couldn't believe it."
"I suppose Republicans need haircuts too," I offered.
"Yeah, but do they have to get them from me?" She laughed. "I totally would not have expected a Coleman staffer to be at that Great Clips. I mean, it's right next to an educational institution. I wouldn't expect a Coleman guy to be anywhere near there."
"Hmm," I said. She was really giving me a very nice haircut. After a minute I said, "So, you were able to keep your mouth shut, then."
She nodded and looked suddenly serious. "Yes. It was hard, but I did it. It was a real test of my professionalism." At that point her rant seemed to be over. She finished the haircut, the best one I've had in years, I tipped her pretty well, and I left, chuckling a little bit about the conversation, which had been one of the most entertaining haircut conversations I'd ever had. I might ask for her again just to see what I can get her to say.
I actually haven't paid a ton of attention to Senator Coleman. I did vote for him. I can't think of anything specific about him that even a super-liberal person might find unbelievably horrible, to the point that she would brag to a stranger that she'd managed to restrain herself from stabbing one of his employees in the head. Other than generally being, you know, the Republican. Maybe she was a grieving Wellstone supporter?
But what I kept wondering was, what was it about me that made her think I was on her team? Everything she said, the way she said it, indicated that she was sure she was talking to someone like-minded. Someone who would find it equally amazing that a professional Republican would darken the borders of the University campus, let alone sit in her chair. How did she know I wouldn't get offended? How was she so sure I wouldn't turn out to be a super-conservative? I hadn't brought up politics and had even told her I was a homeschooling mom with three children, a demographic that skews rather more conservative than average. Was the clientele here reliably liberal, maybe? Still, you'd think that she would realize that anyone might walk in (although given the "educational institution" comment, maybe not). What was it about me?
After a while I remembered that while I was chit-chatting in the shampoo chair (actually it was a shampoo bed. Did you know such things exist? Mmmm.) I mentioned that I was in the mood for a really good salad, so after the haircut I was planning to stop at the local co-op to buy lettuce.
Organic lettuce.
That had to have been it. I was on her team because I shop at the co-op. Hey, I don't just shop there, I'm a card carrying member! It's nice to know that after about 12 years of voting pro-life, pro-self-defense, and somewhat-small-government, when I can get it, my liberal cred is intact because I eat organic lettuce. I laughed for days.
Next time I get my haircut I won't just take whoever's available. I am definitely going to ask for Christine by name.
Sounds liks you might be a "crunchy conservative." heehee
Posted by: Sarahndipity | 29 March 2007 at 12:10 PM
Well, I'm assuming you weren't wearing your denim skirt and your hair isn't long but up in a bun, so right off the bat you must be a "hippie homeschooler", right? The organic lettuce just sealed the deal. Very funny.
When I was in grad school, (one of three women in the philosophy dept), I was approached by one of the womyn who was all excited about going to the "rally" in front of the Planned Parenthood near campus to yell at all those "rosary-totin' freaks." I guess because I had the right parts I was on her team. Sorry, sister, I don't play that game...
Posted by: Valerie | 30 March 2007 at 06:48 AM
That is hilarious. Before you got to the lettuce part, I was thinking in my head 'well, you do seem very crunchy.' If you didn't talk about being Catholic so much it'd be hard to tell, pretty much everything else about you screams liberal (organic, attachment-parenting, no spanking). (I don't mean that as an insult!)
Posted by: entropy | 30 March 2007 at 09:05 AM
Its the whole crunchy conservative phenomenon. I am very conservative, but you would never know it by looking at me or hearing about my interests :)
Posted by: Elaine | 30 March 2007 at 01:02 PM