Bittersweet?

I've been testing Milo's limits over the past few days, with respect to nursing, and I think I'm going to start weaning him.   (Milo is three years six months old, and his baby sister is nearly nine months old.)  Since I got back from my trip 11 days ago, it has been pretty easy to put him off till later--- he asks for milk, I say I'll nurse him later, and most of the time he accepts this and wanders off.  I think I've nursed him about once every other day, without much complaining, since then.   

But I do not want to "test his limits" any more ---  I think I'm just going to try to lengthen the time between nursings, gradually.  I'll start where we are, nursing about every other day, and after a while I will try to push that to two days between nursings.  Will let you know what happens.

This is different from how I decided to do it with Oscar, who weaned around his 4th birthday.  (Also when the baby, i.e. Milo, was nine months old.)  Although I had weaned Oscar from nighttime nursing and from nursing in public places long before then, I didn't ever deliberately decrease his nursing frequency in other situations and especially at home.  I said no when I didn't feel like nursing, of course, but I never made an effort to systematically  lengthen his time between nursings.  He did that himself, and got up to three or four days between nursings until he nursed for the last time (to comfort himself after whacking his head on something) and then just never came back.

Why now?  I guess the easy answer is "because it seems like I can, with not too much distress."   A couple of months ago, nursing Milo went from "occasionally unpleasant and draining" to "almost never anything BUT unpleasant and draining."  I remember that happening with Oscar too.  It seems to be something that happens within myself, not a change in how the older child is nursing.   

Of course, now, with the kids all asleep and me sitting here at my computer, the prospect of weaning my second child is bittersweet.   Poor little guy!  And poor us, moving on past that lovely connection, someday never to enjoy it again!  But the next time I nurse him, I'll remember how much I'm looking forward to never ever ever ever ever doing it again.  Motherhood is weird.

ADDED FOR REFERENCE:  My two most popular posts, on situational weaning, are here and here.

Comments

[entropy]

I understand how you feel except that my baby is only 14 mos. old and I'm ready to start weaning him. Or at least to cut his feedings down (he still doesn't sleep at night and wants to nurse ALL night). I sympathized with your description in your last post about this feeling of nursing aversion. It makes you understand how a mama cat can just get up and jump away from the kitties while they're still nursing.

[bearing]

entropy,

"Weaning" begins when babies start solids, so you've probably already started. :-) Since your little's so young, if you're really thinking you are hitting some kind of limit, can I suggest that you consider situational weaning before beginning the total weaning process?

I wrote about situational weaning here http://arlinghaus.typepad.com/blog/2006/03/every_once_in_a.html and here http://arlinghaus.typepad.com/blog/2006/03/situational_wea.html (sorry, I've disabled live links in comments due to spam)

Situational weaning does not have to be part of a "program" to get your baby to wean completely. Night-weaning is one example of situational weaning.