"Bargaining" comes later.

THE FIVE STAGES OF READING POPE BENEDICT'S BOOKS

1. Optimism.    You pick out a book with a pleasantly elementary-sounding title.   Introduction to Christianity.  Just what you're looking for in some light summer reading.  Cheerfully you pay your $13.95, pick up a latte in the cafe, and head out into the sunshine to crack it open.  You do not even bring a pencil with you.
2. Depression.  You realize that this is a usage of the word "introduction" (and possibly of the words "to" and "Christianity" as well) of which you were previously unaware.     You go to fetch a dictionary.  And a pencil.   And another latte.
3. Epiphany.  Wait a minute!  His writing, it's --- it's so CLEAR!  You --- you --- understand.   This is some of the most brilliant stuff you've ever read!  You never thought about it that way!  Whole new avenues of thought are opening up before you!  The theological insights could change your life!  You are making notes in the margins!  You are dog-earing pages!   You will never look at your faith the same way again.  You close the book and go home to bed.
4. The morning after.   You start to tell a friend about the amazing book you are reading, and at that moment realize that you cannot remember anything you read yesterday, except the word Vaterunser.   
5. Denial.  Hmmm.  Got a long plane flight ahead of you.  This one called  In the Beginning...  sounds straightforward enough.

Next week:  the five stages of graduate-level statistical thermodynamics.

Comments

[Amber]

OK, this made me laugh outloud and feel very afraid. Next up on my religious material reading list? Jesus of Nazareth. 'Nuff said. :-)

[bearing]

Be not afraid!

Oh wait, that was JPII.

(Seriously, I'm reading Jesus of Nazareth now -- it is at my left arm as I speak -- and it is going ok. Maybe because I have started dog-earing pages whenever I read something insightful, so that I will be able to find it again the next morning. But also because J.o.N. belongs more in the "inspirational" section of the bookstore and less in the "theology textbook" section.)