A member of an email list I belong to feels frantic in the evenings. She has one toddler. She asked, What are your bedtime routines like?
Let me think back to when I had one toddler (I now have a homeschooled 7yo, a nearly 4yo, and a 1-yo)... My evenings were extra manic because I was in graduate school part time while dh worked part time, and I often left in the evening and came home for a late supper. Well, here's what we did then on evenings when I wasn't leaving to work...
- By that time (I think) we had gotten rid of our TV. We lived in a small apartment, not hard to keep clean, at the time.
- I was in charge of dinner; I tended to start cooking it after dh got home around 5:15 pm, while he held/played with the baby. But I might have it ready when he got home. We had dinner together with ds.
- At the time, b/c we both "worked," we shared housework in the evenings, I did very little during the day, and so cleaning up was part of the routine. We did this more or less together and I guess you could say that was our time to talk to each other about our day and reconnect.
- If we had time we might go to friends' houses in the evening for tea and dessert. These were CC-type friends with children, so we'd bring ds along.
- We went to bed as a family. At that time my husband and I did not even TRY to get *cough* quality time in the evening (although if ds happened to fall asleep early we'd enjoy it). Ds slept deeply in the morning so that was more a morning thing with us. I always liked having a leisurely quiet breakfast and coffee with just dh and me.
Now I have three children, including a toddler, and the evening routine is quite different. I no longer work or study outside the home. I strive to have dinner ready when dh gets home or soon after, unless for some reason he's cooking. We have a more leisurely dinner, and the older two have specific jobs related to dinner cleanup. Some nights we're going to a friends' house for tea still, some nights are "family gym night" when we all go to the Y, some nights we catch up on housework together, some nights we relax. We always end with a hearty bedtime snack at 8:30 -- dh is in charge of that -- and stories.
When my oldest started "formal" schooling he began to have a 9 pm bedtime. He is allowed to read in his room as long as he wants after that and chooses when to go to sleep. My middle child needs "veg time" to go to sleep. Right now -- please don't laugh -- we are using National Geographic shows on the video iPod for that! We set him up with headphones/iPod on the couch while dh and I tidy the first floor (and have some more of the same kind of quality time/housework we've settled for since we had our first!). Usually he is asleep in 20 minutes and we carry him up to bed. Either the baby goes to bed with dh and I, or if she's very tired I take her up when my oldest goes to bed and nurse her to sleep, then come down to help dh finish the housework. The last thing I do before bed is gather things I need first thing in the morning, e.g. pack the diaper bag, make sure I have the schoolwork materials ready to go, etc.
I have to say that this all got a lot easier after I radically simplified the weeknight dinner menu.
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