Neal at Literal-Minded tackles a subject that's been on my mind: the state of etiquette in a world of evolving communications technology. Or, what's the right way to deal with Caller ID? Along the way he explains the linguistic concept of "common ground" or "CG."
Caller ID complicates the act of judging the contents of the CG. Let’s say I call a friend. His phone rings; he picks it up and says, “Hi!” Not the “Hello?” that you say in answering a call when you don’t know who’s calling, but the “Hi!” that means “Hey, it’s good to hear from you!” and would typically follow me saying, “Hi, this is Neal.” My friend must know it’s me calling. Not only that, he must expect me to know that he knows. Or at least, he judges the proposition that he knows it’s me calling to be unremarkable enough that I can accommodate it into the CG. Under what circumstances could he expect me to find this normal and not be freaked out over his previously unsuspected psychic abilities? He would have such an expectation if he believed the CG to contain the proposition that caller ID is common enough that most people will expect that most people have it. To sum up, just from his greeting, I can conclude that he believes our CG contains the propositions that: caller ID is very common; he has caller ID; he knows that it’s me calling him. Therefore, I can accommodate and proceed as if those propositions had indeed been part of our CG. In practical terms, this means I can skip the “This is Neal” part and go right to “How are you doing?”
That case was the easiest one to resolve, since I can take my cue from how the person I call begins the conversation. But when I’m the one who has to start it, it’s more difficult. Suppose the phone rings and I see it’s some other friend calling me. Does he know I have caller ID? Maybe. I could just skip the Hello and go to the post-identification hi, and then, assuming that the caller isn’t taken aback wondering if I really know who called or am just being strange, the proposition that I have caller ID would definitely be part of our CG. But do I want that? It could lead to complications later on. I’d better just play it safe with the first-round hello, let my friend identify himself, and then fake a tone of pleasant surprise in the follow-up oh, hi! And hope my friend doesn’t say, “Oh, come on, Neal, I know you knew it was me. I saw you screening your calls with caller ID the last time I was at your house, remember?”
I am a generally socially awkward person (probably somewhere on the Asperger's spectrum, but I'm afraid to ask anyone knowledgeable about it), and I can testify that subconscious worry that I might get "caught" in situations like this has driven me to avoid the phone and email everyone about everything all the time. At least when I can get away with it.
(A bonus about Neal's post: There's a link in the comments to a nifty logic puzzle that was new to me, too. Have fun.)
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