That was the question in response to this post (or rather, to an identical post to an email list) describing our bedtime routine. That's what I get for tossing off an ending like "I have to say that this all got a lot easier after I radically simplified the weeknight dinner menu."
My correspondent went on: "I have a 13yr old, a 5 yr old and an 18 month old - and a hubby who gets home at 6.30 (after the kids have eaten... they get so hungry!)"
So... two separate problems. One, the children are hungry before dinnertime; two, dinnertime is too complicated.
Hungry children: Tea-time.
The first thing I suggested: try having a small sit-down meal or substantial snack ready around 3:30, if your kids are homeschooled like mine, or right after your bigger ones get home from school
if they're not. We call ours "tea time." I got this idea (indirectly) from homeschooling writer Elizabeth Foss, and thought I was too busy for it, but finally got around to trying it this school year and now I wonder how I ever got by without it. How did I find the time? I just moved a block of "story time" from morning to afternoon, and tea is during stories.
I make tea or coffee for myself and pour milk for the kids, and I set the table with small plates and set out a snack. We have never been a processed food family, but for this meal (because of limited time) I usually use better-quality packaged foods like wholegrain cookies or frozen organic pizza pockets or something else that I am certain everyone will be happy to see on their plates. I don't usually eat the snack (I don't need it!) but I sip my tea and read stories aloud while they eat, for about half an hour. When they finish, we clear the table, and right after that is when I start dinner.
It's not meant to fill the kids up, just to tide them over till dinner at 5:30 or 6; so each child gets, oh, four cookies. I'm also hoping to use this to teach "It's a nice thing to have just a little bit of a treat --
we don't have to eat the whole bag of cookies." If your kids are hungry before dinner, this is the way to go.
We sit all together for our tea time, but if you have school kids and they come home at different times, I think it could also be nice to prepare a snack for them when they each come home, and have tea with them individually while they have their snack. A good way to connect and "collect" at the end of the day.
Crazy evenings: Simplified meal-planning.
I used to cook pretty elaborate stuff, because I like to cook. I had to give up elaborateness in the last couple of years, except maybe on weekends, and now I try to achieve lovely simplicity instead.
I have always been a meal planner and have always sat down once a week the day before the grocery trip, decided on the menu each day for the coming week, and made the list at the same time. It's a habit from my elaborate-cooking single days that has continued to serve me well, three children into my family But there was still room for one big change.
I used to select meals based solely on what I felt like making or eating that week. Now my first thought is "What's going on that day? What kind of meal preparation will fit best in?" So, for
example, this week:
- Monday I am running errands most of the day, so it's a perfect day to put something in a slow cooker and have cold cut-up vegetables on the side.
- On Tuesday I was spending all day at a friend's house, meeting dh at the gym and handing over the kids, and then rushing to a meeting. The answer for that day was "No cooking at all!" so I planned sandwiches and fruit.
- Wednesday I knew I would be home all day, so I could plan something that would take me about an hour from start to finish; I planned thin pork chops cooked in the skillet plus a roasted veg plus a steamed veg.
- Friday I expect dh will be home early and so I will have him pick up some fish on the way home to put on the barbecue grill.
So now I no longer think about meals in categories like
- "beef"
- "vegetarian"
- "pork"
- "fish."
I think of them in categories like
- "slow cooker in my house all day"
- "takes one hour and requires attention"
- "takes 3 hours of occasional checking"
- "takes 10 minutes on the stove top if the prep is done in advance"
- "can be made in the morning and sit on the counter all day"
- "need to take the slow cooker with me to my friend's house so I can add something half way"
and things like that. I have written about my meal-planning algorithm before in more detail.
I don't plan ahead my breakfasts and lunches and teatimes much, although you may. Our family eats only a few kinds of simple breakfasts and a few kinds of sandwichy lunches, and packaged stuff
for tea, and I just try to have the stuff on hand so I can make one or the other in ten minutes. Dh takes leftovers for lunch. If you do plan breakfasts and lunches (and teatimes) at the start of the week, I recommend thinking of your "days" as beginning with dinner and ending with lunch (or
teatime) on the following day, which helps for planning things like "roast chicken on Monday night dinner, chicken salad for Tuesday lunch."
(Tonight: Minestrone soup. The beef stock is already going in the crock-pot; I started it Friday night, so it should be nice and rich by this evening.)
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