Gain mode.

I hit my goal weight of 108 on the day after Thanksgiving, and have continued to weigh every day, plotting dots on a statistical process-control chart Mark designed for me.

Not too surprisingly, considering the habits I've worked so hard to cultivate, my weight continued to go down.  A couple of days ago it went far enough down -- several consecutive readings in the 105's -- that I officially was supposed to try to gain weight.

Well, now, that's just bizarre.  I mean, I know I don't want to go anorexic, and I'd like to continue to have menstrual cycles and all, and I've BEEN shopping and there ARE NO MORE SIZES SMALLER THAN ME so unless I want to go around in a belted bathrobe, I have to stop losing weight.  "What am I supposed to do?" I asked Mark.  

He shrugged.  "I don't know.  Have ice cream before bed.  Eat an extra snack.  Whatever."

I elected to take the kids to a Vietnamese restaurant for a late lunch and to order the Stir-Fried Beef and Potato and to eat the whole thing.  And to eat some ice cream before bed.  

 I was kind of worried that this was only going to be the first day Back in my Old Habits and the next day would be the same and before you know it the 2.5 or so pounds I wanted to put back on would turn into ten. So I ate the Stir Fried Beef And Potato with some trepidation (and not a few audible YUM noises).  Same with the ice cream.  I almost didn't really want it.  I mean, once I had a couple of bites I remembered that I liked it and I finished the bowl (it was a chocolate-chip-cherry kind of flavor), but... there was a certain taking-my-medicine feeling about it, not an I'm-indulging-in-something-yummy feeling.  

And I felt kind of overstuffed and yucky afterwards.

The next morning the scale read 109.  Success!  Ok, not exactly yet, because according to my "rules" I'm not done until my five-day average reaches my target again, and I need a couple more high-ish readings to make that happen.  So today at tea time I ate some pretzels.  Felt like a LOT of pretzels.  It was maybe six or seven pretzel rods.  I'm kind of revolted thinking about it.  

Have I already gone anorexic?  I don't know.  Maybe.  It wasn't actually hard to eat the pretzels.  I like pretzels.   But it was hard to feel OK about eating, or rather, about having eaten, the pretzels.

Trust the chart, says Mark.  Trust the rules.    If your weight goes too high, just go back to the boiled egg at breakfast, the single plate at dinner, the giant pile of vegetables, and it'll go back down.  You've seen it happen.  You know it will work.

Yes, I know.  And I also know that the act of eating extra on purpose in order to gain a little bit of weight is a learning experience.  I'll see right away what difference a couple of days in "gain mode" makes, right?  I'll understand a little bit more about how my metabolism works.  I'll be able to use this information.   Right?  After a few of these tweaks -- oops, I ate too much, my weight's up a bit, gotta cut back; oops, I cut back too much, my pants are falling off again, gotta eat a little more -- after a few of these tweaks I'll understand a bit better how much I really need to eat to maintain.  Right?

Right?

That is, if it doesn't make me completely crazy.  

Maybe I should simply make a rule that if I need to gain weight I should consume all the extra calories in the form of a single, calorie-dense food, of which I can easily form a mental calibration.  Chocolate bars, say.  Or, um, proscuitto.  Or buttered toast.  No, scratch the toast, I still don't have an "off" switch for buttered toast consumption.

Comments

[Kelly]

I would think that after going into gain mode a few times, you could cultivate a list of a few items to add throughout the day to bring your weight back up. Then you wouldn't need to gorge.

I'm thinking a whole piece of toast with breakfast, adding something to the afternoon snack, and maybe joining Mark and the children for the bedtime snack?

[mary]

I consider my normal to be 105. When my daughter was about 7 months old we went through some sort of growth spurt or something and my weight began to drop. At that point, I already felt I was eating all I could. I did things like eat more bananas and avocados (both considered pretty calorie dense) and I began drinking one Carnation instant breakfast drink a day (I have always found it easier to consume extra liquid calories). I also tried making my oatmeal with milk, but found I really didn't care for that. Also, donuts (like one a day). I think I had to do it for about a month, and then something else (unidentified) changed and I didn't need to do it anymore.

[Christy P]

Don't want to endorse a Nestle product...but instant breakfast combines really well with a milky cup of coffee into a power mocha. Consumed with your regular breakfast that is a nice bolus of calories with some vitamins.

When pregnant and in gain mode, I use sour cream. Otherwise, not so much. We eat Mexican at least 2 times a week and adding some cream adds calories without having to fix a different dinner for me.

If you want more empty calories, have a beer.

I think that the strategy of adding some throughout the day is more successful than adding one high-calorie snack like chocolate because you still want to keep your blood sugar from wild fluctuations. Especially in pregnancy, keeping blood sugar at a stable level can work to prevent nausea... In the non-pregnant, avoiding peaks and valleys can help mood and prevent binges.

[bearing]

Have a beer...

I was thinking maybe I should just drink more alcohol. Right now I don't quite get the recommended one-half to one alcoholic drink per day for heart health... I probably have two drinks a week.

[Darwin]

After a few of these tweaks -- oops, I ate too much, my weight's up a bit, gotta cut back; oops, I cut back too much, my pants are falling off again, gotta eat a little more -- after a few of these tweaks I'll understand a bit better how much I really need to eat to maintain. Right?

I'm immediately picturing this as a recurring gag in a movie where every so often you walk into the room and your pants fall off, leaving you to run desperately around the house in search of a chocolate bar.

[bearing]

It'd be funnier if I was running desperately around the house in search of a beer.