I sing the praises of The Ugly Dinner.

Thursdays the tribe is coming over, which means not much time to cook, and then we're gone to the YMCA from 5:40 till almost 8.  We either have to have an early dinner or a late one, and minimal clean-up, please.  Unless we just decide to eat cereal and fruit, that means the slow-cooker.  (Reheating leftovers does NOT produce minimal clean-up.)

One of the best choices for the late-dinner option is what I call "The Ugly Dinner." I call it that because it is completely beige.  It looks very unappetizing:  don't take it to a potluck to impress people.  And yet it is flavorful, filling, and easy easy easy.  I suppose I could dress it up with minced parsley, or add a gratuitous red bell pepper,  but I have come to believe that this is missing the point.  Why not eat beige food once in a while?  It's good just the way it is.  

Why make The Ugly Dinner?  Many reasons!  It stretches a little bit of meat, OR it's a way to cook an entire roast.  You don't brown the meat beforehand.   It's dairy-free, egg-free, and gluten-free too.  Skip the side dishes and it's fairly low carb and low calorie.  Use lean pork, and it's low-fat.  My version has separate side dishes, but you could put the side dishes inside and transform it into a VERY ugly one-pot meal.  The ingredients are cheap, or can be.   I have never left out the meat, but I suspect if you did, and put in some chickpeas instead, it would make a tasty, rustic, (and ugly!) vegan meal.  Proportions, by the way, are flexible here.  This is how I made it last night:

The Ugly Dinner, Including Side Dishes

• Chops or any other cut of pork, 3-6 ounces per person, or more if your family likes generous portions of meat.  I used a package of 2 pork chops weighing 1.1 pounds to feed my family of five.  You could easily do a whole roast this way -- cut it into a few flat pieces first.  Do not bother trimming fat or treating the pork in any other way.  
• 1 package refrigerated sauerkraut, 16 to 24 ounces.  Canned will do in a pinch and has the benefit of being shelf-stable. 
• Turnips, trimmed and peeled, sliced 1/4 inch thick, enough to be the main vegetable of the plate.  I used one big turnip, softball-sized and quartered before I sliced it, but many small ones also work.
• 2 yellow onions, peeled and sliced
• 1 small baking potato per person (optional if you have bread)
• Some broth or stock if you have it, or maybe some white wine or apple juice, but it's really not important 
• Black pepper to taste 
• Applesauce (from a jar is totally okay) or just some sliced tart apples
• Bread if you have some 

   

Use a big slow cooker.  Cover the bottom with 1/4 inch thick slices of turnip.   On top of that, place the pork in a single layer.  (No browning!)  On top of that, a layer of sliced onions.  Dump in the sauerkraut with all its juices and add maybe a half to one cup of stock, wine, or apple juice if you have it.  (Don't bother if all you have is water).  Grind the black pepper on top, cover and cook on LOW for 7-8 hours.

Towards the end, produce plain baked potatoes by your favorite low-maintenance method.  I put them in a low oven while we were gone; you could also microwave them or use your second slow cooker.  Alternatively, the potatoes could have been sliced and put into the pot with the turnips.  Even more alternatively, you could have put the apples sliced in with the turnips as well.

To serve, extract the meat, discard any bones, slice it, and either pass it separately or mix it back in. Give everybody a split baked potato (butter and sour cream are optional and coordinate with the color scheme) and a side dish of applesauce or raw sliced apples, and a big ladleful of turnips, onion, and sauerkraut, with some of the meat.  

I like my potato in a bowl with the veggies on top and lots of the sauerkraut broth making it into a sort of soup, and only a little bit of the meat.  My pickier children like the meat  scraped clean of sauerkraut, a plain baked potato and applesauce on the side, which is a fine meal I think, and they will practice liking the turnips.  My dear husband likes to scoop out his potato and put the sauerkraut on top of the mash.  Bread to sop up the juices is also a plus, but not necessary; or you could have bread instead of the potato.  We happened to have some leftover Irish soda bread last night, which went beautifully with it.

Revel in the ugliness that is the ugly dinner.    And don't you think that's a better name than "sauerkraut and turnips with pork?"

I'm really curious if my readers think this sounds good or disgusting, if they think their pickier family members would like it or hate it, and -- if you try it -- how you rate it.

Comments

[Christy P.]

In a previous life, I used to make something called "The Angry Meal". It consisted of a box of White Cheddar and Broccoli Rice a Roni, part of a brick of cream cheese, and a can of tuna. It was made once in frustration when the person for whom I was cooking wouldn't commit to what he wanted for dinner. A couple weeks later, he sheepishly asked me to make 'that angry meal' again.

[Christy P.]

BTW - at our house, we would probably call it Peasant Food. Mostly anything involving cabbage or sauerkraut with or without pork falls into that name.

[Amy F]

I don't like sauerkraut and only tolerate turnips, but I like the concept :)