The secret will be out.

I'm having my very first ever ultrasound, in this my fourth pregnancy, early this afternoon.

I don't do routine ultrasounds, being the crunchy home birthing type, but had a variety of reasons for choosing to do one this pregnancy.  Everyone who knows me, knows I don't like having "routine" unnecessary testing in pregnancy, and could go on at length about it.  Which is why it may seem kind of weird, but... now that I've made the decision to go on and get the u/s, I'm actually excited about it.

Anyway.  More later...

Side note.  I was at a family wedding a couple of weeks ago, and everyone -- people I knew, and perfect strangers -- kept asking me "So do you know what it is yet?" and I would say truthfully, "No, but we'll know in a couple of weeks," and the small talk would continue to "I never had an ultrasound with any of my others so this is a first time" and invariably they would say:  "Oh, my gosh -- how come you're doing one this time?  Is there anything wrong?"

This kind of shocked Mark, who asked me later:  "Isn't that kind of a strange thing to say to someone as part of small talk?  I mean, what if you had some terrible condition that you didn't want to explain?"

I had to remind him:  This is the way it is with women and pregnancies.  Pregnancy and childbirth stories, breastfeeding and in some contexts fertility stories, even horror stories, are the stuff of small talk among strangers.  It is very strange, and I don't understand it, but discussion of  one's (female) reproductive system is not reserved for among intimates.

Anyway, I skirted the question fairly gracefully, if untruthfully, by laughing and saying, "Oh, no, it's because I'm getting so old," a comment that was accepted with knowing laughter by all the mothers present.   I mean, I AM thirty-five next week, and if I was seeing an OB he'd expect me to, oh, I don't know, expire any day now...

Anyway... as I said... more later...

UPDATE:  It's a boy:-)

Comments

[Cathie B]

When I was pregnant with Brigid, they had written on my records "Geriatric Pregnancy". I was 35. They must put "Really Geriatric Pregnancy" on my charts now!

Waiting to hear...

[Jamie]

People ask me all the time if we're going to have more children. How should I know? Is that code for "Is one of you sterilized now because you surely ought to be?" It is so strange that someone who doesn't even know my name, who is just striking up a conversation at soccer practice, thinks it's all right to ask about family planning decisions.

...wait, I have to stop typing this comment so I can do a little inward boggle...

Okay, all done boggling for the moment. Hope your ultrasound is lovely and reassuring. Pictures please! And if you have the chance and the inclination, I am curious about your midwives. Are they CNMs who can order tests on their own? Or do you have to have a collaborative relationship with a doctor?

[bearing]

Jamie - I have a traditional ("granny"/apprenticeship trained) homebirth midwife, two actually for this pregnancy, and one of the two carries a state license (homebirth is legal here in MN and licensure is optional, which is, I think, a fairly good arrangement). She is able to order things like ultrasounds and blood tests. I don't think she is required to be supervised by a physician, not sure about that one, the licensure law has changed a couple of times since she attended my first birth in 2000.

[Amy F]

I totally understand where you're coming from! I haven't had ultrasounds with either pregnancy (although Peter did have one done of his head, through the soft spot, at 12 hours old to check for seizure damage or something to that effect) but I think I'd get one with the next pregnancy. I'll probably see hospital CNMs where it would be routine. Part of me would really like to know boy/girl and the rest isn't opposed enough to a single check-for-heart-defects 20 week u/s to refuse it. I'm already mourning the lack of fabulous homebirth midwife care, though. Darn non-breathing babies.

My husband is astonished at how often NFP and childbearing come up in mom conversations with strangers when I mention them to him.

[MrsDarwin]

I think you'll enjoy watching the baby squirm and kick on the screen -- it's enchanting to get that first glimpse at the little one who's been secret for so long.

I've never been worried about birth defects or whatnot -- what I love about the ultrasound is the chance to find out if I'm having a boy or girl. I remember when I was expecting my first, and determined not to find out what the baby was. As the ultrasound neared, that resolve eroded as curiosity ate away at me. Finally I rationalized that heck, the ultrasound tech and the doctor would be able to tell what the baby was, so why should they know more about my baby than I would?

Embarrassing story -- when I found out the fourth was a boy, after three girls, I wept big tears right there in the room.

[Kelly]

Cathie, you get to be "senile" when you're over 40, iirc.

I've had at least one ultrasound for each of the first three pregnancies, but didn't find out the sex. The fourth child was the first time I didn't have an ultrasound.

[Barbara C.]

I've had a minimum of two ultrasounds with each pregnancy (including one internal at the beginning). My uterus starts measuring small around 34 weeks, so with the past two they've wanted an extra one to check on the baby's growth.

I've determined, though, that if we have a fourth I am not having a routine ultrasound until at least 30 weeks. At 20 weeks they said our last baby had cysts in her brain and kidney issues and started throwing out words like "Downs Syndrome", "Trisomy 18", and "abortion". Everything mended itself by 32 weeks, and she was born perfectly healthy. But it was a very scary 12 weeks that could have been averted with a later ultrasound and better information from the specialist.

I didn't find out with the first child because I wanted to get lots of unisex things that could be passed down to future kids. But we learned with the last two for various reasons.

My favorite part of the ultrasound is saying things like "look at those carpals". It's like being back in biology class. Oh, and the fact that all of our babies have a bigger than average head is a running joke.

[Jamie]

Hurray! A boy! Hope all is well.

[MelanieB]

Yay for a boy!

It is funny, isn't it, how you can exchange all sorts of pregnancy and childbirth with a stranger before you ever exchange names.

[Sara]

Me, I just love being a "grand multipara" for having so many. I'm a crunchy homebirther, too. 3 at home and 3 in hospital. Keep me at home anytime! but the ultrasounds are fun.

[Cathie B]

Hurray! Thanks for the update!

Haha Kelly! I must be senile to do this over 40 and to have 6 kids...

[Angela F in IA]

Oh, boy! A boy! How neat. I find it so interesting that so many people - really barely acquaintances - will ask if we know what we're having. We do - a girl, but I'm often wanting to hang on to that information and hug it close. Oh well.

We won't be having another ultrasound either - but only because we are private pay. My goodness - they want a lot of money for ultrasounds and doctors and hospital care!

I must also be senile - to do this at 40 with 6 already. Ha! Thank the Lord for my calm, laid back OB. Never has she called me geriatric or grand multi-para!