No, I'm not starving myself for forty days.
My policy on voluntary Lenten sacrifice, which I finally settled on a couple of years ago, and which I'll continue indefinitely: No giving up anything food-related for Lent. Period. I don't do it.
(Note that I'm talking about voluntary sacrifice, not the Friday abstinence from meat or the Ash Wednesday and Good Friday obligatory fasts. I of course observe those as required.)
Food-related sacrifice for Lent is highly recommended for most people, but I've become convinced that it's bad news for people who suffer from seriously disordered eating.
Back when I used to try giving types of food up for Lent -- snacking between meals, say, or sweets, or caffeine -- I would obsess about the missing items, to the point where I could not think about anything else. Let's just say that it did not foster a prayerful Lent. And it tended to act as a trigger for my bulimia. I can only imagine how much trouble such a thing might cause for someone who tended towards anorexia.
Please, distinguish habits -- even harmful habits -- from addictions. A pleasurable habit can be appropriate to give up for Lent. That is, something that you can truly lay down of your own accord. It may cause you some suffering, you may miss it, you may look forward with longing to the "feast" -- but still, you CAN do it if you choose to. Trying to give up for Lent something that you have a pathological addiction to, however, is setting yourself up for failure, self-blame, self-hatred. And possibly an extremely dangerous binge or bender come Easter Monday. In the natural order of things, medical or psychological intervention is required to break addiction. Do you want to set yourself up for the temptation of thinking, I could make it through Lent without it, if I only had more faith, if I only was a better person? Or the temptation of feeling abandoned by God: My prayers aren't answered, He hasn't given me the strength?
And one more thing about this. The focus of Lent is not on you and the thorn in your flesh. The focus of Lent is on Christ and His Cross. Its purpose is not to cure people of their addictions and dependencies.
Lent is penance, not therapy.
But to hear some folks talk about it, you'd think it was advertised as a diet plan. "Lose 10 Pounds of Belly Fat In 40 Days." If you're constantly trying and failing to give up snacks between meals anyway, what's so specially penitent about trying and failing to do it during Lent? Or is it really Lent all year long?
So give up something that stands between you and God -- sure. If you like, give up something that hurts. But make it something that you can choose to give up of your own free will. So that you do it.
I am very hesitant to give up food items for Lent as well, especially while pregnant. If I give up chocolate,then I'll probably give up the big glass of milk I would drink with it--not a good thing.
I don't think I am really anorexic. But I do have issues with not eating enough calories, so I really don't need anything to make that worse.
Posted by: Barbara C. | 13 March 2010 at 03:36 PM
I think this is a wonderful post, and it would be a make a great article for Catholic periodicals.
Posted by: Kelly | 13 March 2010 at 09:57 PM
I'm breaking my comment fast here (I attempted to email you, but it bounced back). But Sundays are mini Easters, right? :)
As someone who was treated for an eating disorder, I couldn't agree more with what you wrote. In fact, I had a draft for a post on the same topic in the works, but you beat me to the punch and I'm glad because I think you said what's been on my mind far more eloquently.
Like in years' past, I originally decided to give up chocolate and other sweets as part of my 2010 Lenten resolutions. Then we arrived at the beach with my parents, and my daughters wanted ice cream and so did I, but I fell prey to my old thought pattern. “I have to be in a swimsuit here. I can’t eat that.”
So what did I do? I broke my Lenten promise and I ate a small scoop of ice cream. Instead of fasting on the “evil” food, I fasted on the unhealthy guilt associated with eating it. I fasted on the vanity of worrying what I might look like in a swimsuit if I ate three meals like a normal person.
This proved to be more of a self-sacrifice than denying myself of calories (which is more likely to send me on a power trip about how strong I am to eat less than most people).
I’m not suggesting that some people - even those who have had or have issues with food - cannot benefit from fasting during Lent. Hunger pangs can remind us that our physical hunger is not nearly as strong as our hunger for Christ, the Bread of Life.
But for me, fasting can easily become a way to camouflage my vanity and my hunger for control and a slimmer figure.
At any rate, thank you for the excellent, timely post!
Posted by: Kate Wicker @ Momopoly | 14 March 2010 at 09:30 AM