This chapter is called "Devotion is suitable to every Vocation and Profession:"
WHEN God created the world He commanded each tree to bear fruit after its kind; [8] and even so He bids Christians,--the living trees of His Church,--to bring forth fruits of devotion, each one according to his kind and vocation. A different exercise of devotion is required of each--the noble, the artisan, the servant, the prince, the maiden and the wife; and furthermore such practice must be modified according to the strength, the calling, and the duties of each individual. I ask you, my child, would it be fitting
would not such a devotion be ridiculous, ill-regulated, and intolerable?
- that a Bishop should seek to lead the solitary life of a Carthusian?
- And if the father of a family were as regardless in making provision for the future as a Capucin,
- if the artisan spent the day in church like a Religious,
- if the Religious involved himself in all manner of business on his neighbour's behalf as a Bishop is called upon to do,
Nevertheless such a mistake is often made, and the world, which cannot or will not discriminate between real devotion and the indiscretion of those who fancy themselves devout, grumbles and finds fault with devotion, which is really nowise concerned in these errors.I think we've all heard this argument before, though perhaps not so bluntly stated. Devotion requires discretion; "those who fancy themselves devout" commonly commit the indiscretion of attempting methods of devotion that are not suitable for their station in life.
I find this to be tougher to work out than it sounds. From time to time, for example, I've tried to steadily pray the Liturgy of the Hours -- usually just one or two offices -- as a personal devotion. Now, let me stress that the LOTH appeals to me personally a great deal. love coming to know the psalms. I love knowing that I'm praying the "prayer of the whole church" right along with the whole church. I love having a big fat worn dog-eared book with slips of paper and Post-it notes stuck in it, and praying intensely while flipping the pages back and forth from this section to that, like an engineering student taking an open-book thermodynamics exam. It suits me.
It takes concentration, I find, to really "do." And concentration is something of which I don't have enough on the regular basis that LOTH demands as a steady devotion. I tried, because it seemed that I should be able to make room for this prayer that I like so much. But it rarely works out. Either it's early in the morning or late at night and I'm too tired, or the children interrupt me. It seems I can only use this as an occasional treat, not my daily bread.
(Demand your daily prayer! Every mom needs it! Train the children not to interrupt you! Sure, that works if all the children are over the age of four. I am not there yet. And remember what I've been writing, about suspecting that I need to be more interrupt-ible, not less? I am beginning to suspect that refusing to allow children to interrupt me during time I owe to them, even for prayer, would be one of those false devotions that St. Francis is writing about. I'm thinking I need to work with what works, not with what's not working.)
So how to figure out what does work? It seems that St. Francis, too, thinks that if a method grates against the duties of one's vocation, then it's not the right method, and to keep trying to practice it would be a false devotion:
No indeed, my child, the devotion which is true hinders nothing, but on the contrary it perfects everything; and that which runs counter to the rightful vocation of any one is, you may be sure, a spurious devotion. ...[T]rue devotion...not only hinders no manner of vocation or duty, but, contrariwise, it adorns and beautifies all.....[E]verybody fulfils his special calling better when subject to the influence of devotion:--family duties are lighter, married love truer, service to our King more faithful, every kind of occupation more acceptable and better performed where that is the guide.
It is an error, nay more, a very heresy, to seek to banish the devout life from the soldier's guardroom, the mechanic's workshop, the prince's court, or the domestic hearth. Of course a purely contemplative devotion, such as is specially proper to the religious and monastic life, cannot be practised in these outer vocations, but there are various other kinds of devotion well-suited to lead those whose calling is secular, along the paths of perfection.
The Old Testament furnishes us examples in Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, David, Job, Tobias, Sarah, Rebecca and Judith; and in the New Testament we read of St. Joseph, Lydia and Crispus, who led a perfectly devout life in their trades:--we have S. Anne, Martha, S. Monica, Aquila and Priscilla, as examples of household devotion, Cornelius, S. Sebastian, and S. Maurice among soldiers;--Constantine, S. Helena, S. Louis, the Blessed Amadaeus, [9] and S. Edward on the throne.
Did you notice that Martha is an example of household devotion?
And as for the excuse that "I can't get enough time alone to practice my devotion, poor me, I give up:"
And we even find instances of some who fell away in solitude,--usually so helpful to perfection,--some who had led a higher life in the world, which seems so antagonistic to it. S. Gregory dwells on how Lot, who had kept himself pure in the city, fell in his mountain solitude. Be sure that wheresoever our lot is cast we may and must aim at the perfect life.
Trying and trying to stick with a devotion that doesn't mesh well with our life is a recipe for failure: an excuse to fail at prayer (when life activities suit us more) or to fail at our duties (when prayer suits us more). We have to do both.
Ok, Erin, I'm going to have to pick this book up!
I've been discussing with a friend the issue of Daily Mass--am I called to that at this stage in life or not? I'm still not sure, but this surely lends more food for thought. I've struggled finding the "right" devotion (LOTH hasn't worked out yet for me, either). Thanks for these posts.
Posted by: Tabitha | 14 July 2010 at 09:06 AM
This book is the reason I stopped beating myself up about being able to do daily mass, or any of the other oh-so-holy devotions I hear of other women doing. I haven't actually finished the book though, I can't quite remember why but I stalled halfway through. I should pick it up again. I'm really enjoyed reading your thoughts on it!!
As for what sort of devotions work well with small children - the sort I'm best at maintaining (though I'm not consistent here either) is the sort that ritualizes small moments through the day - crossing oneself passing a church or at the name of Jesus, saying a quick prayer when an ambulance or fire truck passes, praying over and with the small kids when they hurt themselves or are angry or upset (and asking them to pray with me), saying a quick prayer for all mothers when I tie on my apron to cook or bake. I call these my 'apron prayers' since I started with the apron one. :-) I'm also prone to posting snippets of bible verses, hymns, or quotes on my walls to keep my mind on 'whatever is true, lovely, etc' and playing devotional music while doing housework. These things sometimes don't seem like *enough*, but they do fit my life.
Posted by: Kate | 14 July 2010 at 09:27 AM
I agree that you shouldn't force yourself to stick with a devotion that simply isn't working. However, I have had some success with modifying my ideas of how LOTH should work s that it meshes better with my life as mom of little ones. So you may find that LOTH just doesn't work for you; but perhaps you might also have some success by tweaking the way you approach it.
I have found that I can mostly fit LOTH into my chaotic life but I have had to learn to be very flexible and interruptible and loosen my expectations. I did already have the habit of saying morning and evening prayer before I was married, so I did have a leg up in that regard, I suppose. I also started praying LOTH by being loose in my expectations. I was in grad school at the time and kept very irregular hours and very short in discipline. I said morning prayer whenever I first got up, no matter how tired I was and if I fell asleep a dozen times as I tried to pray, well that's just how it went. And evening prayer I would say last thing before going to bed, also falling asleep many nights multiple times before I got through it all. For me developing the habit of daily prayer was more important than the quality of the prayer on any given day. So yes my concentration wsn't what I'd like it to be; but I think one can pray the hours with reduced concentration and there is still much good that comes from just saying the words even if it feels very empty. But like I said, I was single, so I did push myself to finish each hour.
These days those habits do stand me in good stead. Still, some mornings I only get through part of one psalm before I'm interrupted. And I've learned to count that as my morning prayer time and just pick up on the next hour and do the best I can. It's been very hard to overcome my perfectionist tendencies which try to insist that it doesn't "count" if I don't say the whole hour's psalmody and reading and intentions and prayers; but I've definitely made progress in that regard in the past couple of years.
Like Kate suggested, I print out some of my favorite hymns and post them on the cabinets and sing as I cook breakfast and wash the dishes. They are my backup plan. On mornings when LOTH is interrupted or disappears completely, I try to at least start with a mumbled morning offering, try to say the Invitatory Psalm (95), which I've memorized, and then sing a few hymns as I go about my morning, making breakfast and doing dishes.
At noon I have my cell phone set to ring and we all pray the Angelus (the 2 yr old and 4 year old know most of the prayers and often join in; but I don't require it of them.) I just pray regardless of what I'm doing, I don't necessarily stop momming changing a diaper, dishing out lunch, moderating an argument, etc.
If I can, during nap/afternoon quiet time I pray either the short midday or midafternoon prayer or the longer Office of Readings.
Then evening prayer usually doesn't happen these days till after the kids are in bed, which may be 8 or 9pm. I'm often nodding off or very distracted; but I do my best to get through. If I'm really tired, I just skip evening prayer and say the much shorter night prayer and if I'm super tired I do a shortened version of night prayer that omits the psalm and just says the responsory and canticle and closing prayer.
I've also had success in getting the kids involved in praying LOTH with me instead of fighting to keep them away, make them be quiet. I allow myself to be distracted and figure God will give me quiet prayer times when I need it and at other times praying in the midst of interruptions and the circus is undoubtedly good for me too.
I have a big pile of holy cards in my prayer book and hand them to the toddlers to look at as I pray. Sometimes that becomes my prayer as I use the cards for an improvised litany of the saints: that's St Patrick. St Patrick, pray for us...
The girls have both learned how to repeat antiphons and like praying with me. Another way to get them involved was to listen to the LOTH at divineoffice.org I was totally able to feed the baby and listen to that while I got stuff done. Not optimal to multi-task while praying; but better than not praying, no?
When I've got a new baby I try to use the nursing sessions as my monastery bell and say at least a part of the nearest hour whenever I sit down to nurse. Having a laptop nearby allows me to access universalis. Or with the latest baby I did the readings on my ipod touch. Very handy technology which lets you scroll with one finger and works until baby is old enough to be fascinated with the shiny thing in mama's hand.
Sorry if this is too long and not helpful. But I think I might have given up early on if I hadn't had some cheerleaders telling me it could still work for me if I reduced my expectations of what LOTH requires.
It's kind of the same thing I've learned about attending Mass. I may be very distracted by keeping the baby and toddlers from screaming and fighting and I may not hear the readings and miss the homily and even have to leave to change a diaper and miss the consecration; but there is a grace at simply being present as much as I am able and allowing God to be present even in the midst of the distractions and interruptions. I've become convinced that liturgy doesn't require our full attention and concentration to be a source of grace for us-- though it is good for us to try to give it as much as possible.
Posted by: MelanieB | 27 July 2010 at 07:39 PM
I wanted you to know that I found you through Conversion Diary and am really enjoying reading your posts. Thank you for putting effort in here in order to share the benefits of your learning!
Posted by: Tamara @ Living Palm | 30 October 2010 at 09:52 AM