I blogged last time that, taking to heart St. Francis's advice to desire all good things in their due order, I would focus on one virtue to develop: "avoidance of over-eagerness and anxiety."
This is the title of Chapter 10 in part 3; it is, in my judgement, thematically linked to Chapter 11, "Obedience," and Chapter 35, "Fidelity in all occasions" (meaning, "faithfulness in lowly tasks as well as great tasks.") All three of these chapters have to do with virtue in the application of one's efforts to one's duties. Which comes down, in many ways, to the correct and ordered use of time. And that means, in turn, detachment from "owning" time. It belongs to God, not me.
I know in my heart that I have much to learn from these three chapters. They are about getting your priorities straight. They are about honoring ALL your duties, even the seemingly insignificant and lowly ones. They are about doing all things out of love.
Let's take a look at them, one at a time, and see if we can extract some practical advice. I'll start with chapter 11, "Obedience."
Wait a minute, that's another virtue... I thought you were going to attack only one virtue at a time? Well, obedience is relevant, because it's not only a virtue, it's a principle by which we can figure out what our duties are in the first place.
Necessary obedience is obedience in ecclesiastical matters to magisterium, bishop, and parish priest; in civil matters to the appropriate authorities; and domestically, the filial obedience to parents, the appropriate kind of obedience of wife to husband*.
Francis says of necessary obedience,
...no one is exempt from the duty of obeying those whom God has placed in authority over us, to direct and rule us in their own particular sphere. We must... obey their commands; but to be perfect, we must also take their advice, and even fall in with their wishes, so far as charity and prudence allow. We should obey orders which are pleasing, for example, to eat, or take recreation, for though obedience seems no great virtue in such circumstances, it would be wrong to disobey; we should also obey in indifferent matters, for example, with regard to what we wear, in taking one road rather than another, in singing or being silent, such obedience being very praiseworthy; but our obedience will be perfect when exercised in difficult, unpleasing and hard matters.
Voluntary obedience is that "to which we voluntarily bind ourselves and which is not imposed on us." Francis's example is that "we may freely choose our spiritual director or our confessor." Another example (this is my own understanding) might be the voluntary decision to adhere to some kind of rule of life. And although Francis puts "obedience of servants to master" in the category of "necessary" obedience, I rather think that in the modern American economy the obedience of employee to employer is really voluntary obedience, since it is contractual.
Much more is worth reading, if "obedience" is the particular virtue you seek! But I will go on and see what can be extracted from this relevant to mine, namely, anxiety and over-eagerness about (a.k.a. disordered attachment to) my duties, how I spend my time.
Obedience is one way we know what we must do. (It's not the only way, nor even the primary way, but it is maybe one of the easiest ways.) There's the obvious things, like having to go to Mass on Sunday, and having to do whatever it is we are supposed to do for our paid employment, and there's the things our spouse asks us to do...
I don't think I have to belabor the point here, nor get sidetracked into developing obedience as a virtue. Here is what I really need the "obedience" chapter for. Often I find myself saying, "Hang on a minute, I really have to do this thing first..." One of the habits I must develop is being truthful about whether I "really have to do this thing first." And to know whether I'm truthful about it I must be able to answer the questions:
- Am I bound to do this thing AT ALL?
- And if I am, am I bound to do it FIRST?
Obedience is one way I might be bound to do that thing... or conversely, it's one way I might be bound NOT to do it!
So I guess one piece of advice that can be extracted from Francis's wisdom here is: know each day exactly what tasks and projects I am bound under obedience to accomplish. Realistically, this will be a tiny fraction of the "things I have to do." But it's good to know which ones these are.
Some days that might be "work on the taxes, because paying taxes is the law." Some Sundays it might be "attend Mass, because it's a precept of the church" Another day it might be "write down how much I spend at the grocery store, because my husband asked me to help him keep the family budget." You see?
Understanding what obedience really requires of us ought to be a way to reduce our anxiety about tasks, because it helps us discern our true duties.
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