Good enough for government work.

Minneapolis does not allow residents to contract private companies for garbage removal.  We must use the city garbage collection service.  

A couple of weeks ago, I called the city to ask for a new garbage cart.  Animals had chewed a hole through the heavy plastic of the lid and body of the cart, and squirrels were happily running in and out, strewing half-eaten objects around my yard.  The city told me to leave the cart in the alley for up to two weeks until the crew could get around to replace the lid and/or cart.

Yesterday I noticed the garbage crew truck parked behind my house fiddling with the cart.  "Oh goody," I thought, "here's my new garbage cart.  Now I can bring the cart back into the yard except on trash day."  When I pulled out of my garage in the evening I noticed, approvingly, that the cart was not the same cart that I had had before.  Hurray.  New cart.

This morning I took the  trash out and inspected the cart more closely.  In fact it was NOT a new cart.  

It was a different cart, certainly.  

But it was a different cart with a different hole chewed in its different lid.  

I cannot, of course, guarantee that the hole was chewed by a different squirrel.

So I called up the city to ask about it.  A very nice woman put me on hold for a while and then came back to tell me:  "Oh yes, the crews came out to fix the garbage cart.  But when they checked the serial number on your cart, they saw that the damaged cart behind your house was actually registered to your neighbor."

"So they switched the carts back."

"Yes, exactly."

I stepped outside to check.  Indeed, there was the familiar damaged cart behind my neighbor's house where, apparently, it belonged.  The unfamiliar damaged cart had, apparently, been behind my neighbor's house by mistake.  

So.  Let me get this straight:

(1) The garbage-cart fixing crew was sent out, with garbage-cart fixing supplies, presumably being paid by the hour, to fix or replace a damaged cart that is a known nuisance.  

(2) Upon arriving and investigating, they discovered that not only do *I* have a damaged cart registered to my residence, but my neighbor does.  Not one problem but two problem

(3) They had the resources "shovel-ready" to fix BOTH problems.  Resources had already been expended to put both garbage carts aright.

(4) Instead of fixing one or both problems, they gave me his problem and gave him my problem.

(5) Now we still each have a problem, but each of us has a different problem from before.  Not that it amounts to much difference.

It is very, very hard not to see this as some kind of extended metaphor for government services.

I pointed out to the nice lady on the phone that I still had a cart with a hole in it parked behind my house, and she agreed with me that this had to be fixed and said that sometime in the next two weeks a crew would come out to fix the garbage cart.

It was not until after I had hung up that it occurred to me that I should ask them to please also fix my neighbor's cart (the cart formerly assumed to have been mine).  Squirrels, after all, respect no property lines.

Comments

[Patty]

No, no, no, you can't ask to have your neighbor's cart fixed! Your neighbor has to ask. Tsk, tsk.

[Margaret in Minnesota]

You sound far more patient in your description of this event than I feel reading it. Aaargh. Don't get my husband started on garbage-collecting companies.

[bearing]

I wish I was dealing with a garbage-collecting company.

Then I could fire them and hire a DIFFERENT garbage-collecting company.

Alas, opting out is not allowed. The government has decreed that I am not allowed to ask someone else to come take away my garbage.

[RealMom4Life]

Bizarre, isn't it? In Maple Grove we are allowed to individually choose our garbage company. Yes, it is nice to have the ability to do that. But, I also think it's a waste to have 3 garbage trucks come down our cul-de-sac every Friday. So, when a 4th company approached my door explaining that their trucks were smaller/ ran cleaner/ and were safer for the kiddos I didn't bite. I didn't see how changing from 3 big trucks to 3 big trucks and 1 small one would help.

[bearing]

Well, theoretically your neighbors might see the smaller truck and think, "I want THAT company to pick up my garbage!" If you felt strongly enough you could tell your neighbors and encourage them to switch.

Not saying that's realistic, but it is a power you have in Maple Grove that I don't in Minneapolis.