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04 May 2011


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Great post/response! And I love the hypothermia comment. I laughed out loud!


as always, a great post.

a question: what do you think is the sequence for losing weight? Not accepting your body, so you change it; or accepting who you are and then from that acceptance just 'loving' yourself enough to change.


Hm, Delores, I would say that dressing properly requires accepting the truth about your body. You should dress the body you have, not the body you wish you had or the body you fear you might have.

But for me, losing weight required accepting the truth about my behavior, not my body. Accepting or not accepting my body was sort of irrelevant.

Margaret in Minnesota

You know, whenever I find myself obsessing about my figure, I think, "What would Our Lady do?"

Or Blessed Mother Teresa, for that matter.

It's kind of extreme but you get the point...and it's what trips me up EVERY time. Sometimes I think that I am called to be a 50's mom--you know, home all the time and baking cookies and whatnot. A comfortable mom.

And then there are days that I want to be Jillian and show up at the boys' baseball games in my running pants, all healthy & trim.

But I will say this--I hate it when people refer to women's figures as hot. It's a trend I wish would die.

Betty Beguiles

You're so very right, Bearing. I should have said "I pursue this not to have a hot body (primarily)..." LOL. I'll take the hot body, I assure you. ;)

As for my use of the term "hot body", to each his own I suppose. :)


@Margaret, it's not my preferred term either, but Betty started it. I just wanted to keep the writing consistent. Blame her ;-)

Betty Beguiles

I am unapologetic. ;)


I love this. I just discovered your blog, and am starting my own! Getting married this summer, and have the urge to write. I think we're on the same page about a lot of things.

I really look forward to reading more!


"You (yes, you) want to have a hot body."

I claim it.

To be honest, it's watching my re-emerging contours appear that keeps me motivated in my weight loss. That', and the recent wedding/reunion I went to, for which I wanted to present an image of looking attractive and fit as the one of the set who got married right away and had a boatload of children. Vanity? Evangelization? Advertisement? It's all mixed, motive-wise.

Also, my husband notices, and that matters more than anything -- more than the health angle, really. Is that vain? I don't know, but I will say that I've noticed as he's lost weight, and I appreciate it. I assume that he feels the same about me.


Have any of you ever experienced "pretty discrimination"? You know the once over look from someone and followed by the cutting remark "Why so dressed up?". I've personally found other women to be very critical of those women who look good, especially if they have a bunch of children and have it together. I know this sounds vain, but I struggle with feeling like I shouldn't dress it up too much, or else I will get the daggers. A good friend of mine lost a lot of weight and she confided in me that she lost a good friendship because of the weight loss. I think that happens a lot. Women get jealous of other women who have it together.


@Jennifer: I don't think I remember anyone ever asking me that, but I might have been oblivious to the implications...

OTOH, I only aspire to looking put-together. I think I only achieve it sort-of. Am trying to do it mainly through better shoes these days.

The problem is that I waffle between whether the real me wears waterproof hiking boots or cute vintage-inspired pumps. I suppose the real answer is some days one, some days the other.

Amy F

"The problem is that I waffle between whether the real me wears waterproof hiking boots or cute vintage-inspired pumps. I suppose the real answer is some days one, some days the other."

I know that when my husband mentions that College Amy is back, I need to step it up. He thinks it's cute, but I want to strive for better than college t-shirts and sweatshirts.


Bearing, shoes are key. I stopped wearing sneakers around (except for exercise) several years ago, and it's made a definite difference in my appearance, as far as looking appropriate.

Jennifer, I think the "pretty discrimination" is real, and a way for those who feel frustrated with their lack of style (whether through disinclination, financial disadvantage, or the pressures of young children) to take out their irritation in a passive-aggressive way.


"Shoes are key..."

I hope makeup isn't, or I'm sunk. Never could get the hang of it.

@CollegeAmy: If I get gussied up enough to put on heels, my husband eyes them and asks if they are crampon-compatible.


Hmmm I never could get the hang of makeup or heels. In fact my primary criterion with shoes is that they are comfortable. I desperately want shoes that are cute too. But I'm not willing to sacrifice comfort for looks.


I'm short, so I appreciate the boost of heels. But "heels" and "uncomfortable" aren't mutually exclusive. I have a couple of pairs in one particular designer that I could walk miles in.


I've never met a pair of heels that weren't uncomfortable. But I have big wide feet and most shoes are uncomfortable. Plus I think that maybe being taller makes them more uncomfortable? I'd love to find some nice looking shoes that I could walk miles in. I think I'm more willing to believe in unicorns, though.

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