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17 December 2011


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I've been thinking of Betty's post too. I like the image if the Presentation.


I think the problem I had before suffering entered into my life in a big way was that I didn't appreciate my joyful, easy breezy life until it crashed and burned. So the concept of "offering up joy" would have been lost on me, until I lived through the dark days. Now I am so much more appreciative of the little things in my life that bring me joy.



Sometimes I think that my turn must be coming -- I've had so many great things that I can't claim credit for. I try to save up happiness and peace in my heart now, so it strengthens me for some unknown time in the future where I may need it.


Bearing, that thought haunts me constantly, that there's some karmic turn coming in which I will pay for all my current happiness. That's as close as I've ever come to a temptation to despair, but it's close enough to keep me from always living in the present moment. I've had to confess it recently, as a form of stealing from my family, to dwell almost obsessively on what would happen if I lost it all suddenly.


Oh yes, MrsD, I am with you on that one. I don't know if I could call it "obsessive" or "haunting" -- more just plain pessimism. :-)

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I think I read something somewhere about this

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