Charting unmarried.

Simcha is defending teaching cycle-charting to the unmarried, including teens, here:

http://www.ncregister.com/blog/simcha-fisher/why-would-an-unmarried-woman-chart-her-cycle

I responded in the comments with my story of learning fertility tracking in college:

"I was in college and unmarried when I first even heard about NFP. I was a fairly new Catholic and I knew the Church opposed artificial contraception but it took a while before I found out that there was any kind of effective family-planning alternative. (Somehow, they never covered this in RCIA—either that the Church opposed contraception or that any licit recourse existed for married couples who judged it prudent or necessary to space children).

As you can imagine, the months between finding out (a) that contraception was not, in fact, an option ever and (b) that NFP exists were somewhat freaked-out ones.

When I did learn about NFP, probably from the little baby internet we had back then, my first thought was: “You have got to be kidding me! I have to try this!” Sort of in a “how cool is that?!” sense. So I tried to order a copy of a NFP textbook from a nationally known NFP teaching organization, and they wrote me back to tell me it was a BAD IDEA for a young unmarried woman to fall into the temptation of knowing how her cycles worked.

I knew perfectly well where to get free condoms—I was a state university student, after all, they practically leave them like mints on your pillows at the dorm—so I concluded that whatever assumptions the NFP teaching org adviser was making didn’t apply to me, and persisted in my search to find out how to do this cool trick where you could find out when you would have your period.

So I went to the library, where I found a slightly out-of-date edition of the same textbook (hint: it had daffodils on the cover), made myself a chart in Microsoft Excel, and about seven weeks later experienced the twin sensations of WOW IT WORKED THAT IS SO COOL and I HAVE BEEN LIED TO MY WHOLE LIFE ABOUT MY OWN BODY. The experience was faith-strengthening. I continued to chart until I was married several years later."

I am still about 6 years away from my second trip through female puberty, but it probably won't surprise you that I am an advocate of teaching young people about NFP in adolescence. The details aren't worked out yet, though, and so far none of the kids have thought to ask about the charts on the bathroom counter, which I would be too lazy to hide even if I were of a mind to hide them.

(That is probably an exaggeration. I manage to put them away every month before the house cleaners come.)

Comments

[Barbara C.]

I totally get the "I have been lied to my whole life about my body" thing. I wish I would have known the basics of charting in high school...it would have relieved so much uncertainty and anxiety. Not to mention that my life was an emotional rollercoaster for the first six years of my menstrual cycle. Now I know that it was probably due at least partly to poor nutrition (thank you Marilyn Shannon).

My two older daughters (9 and 6) have asked several questions in the past two to three years...such as why I go through periods of taking my temperature in the morning (in between pregnancies). So, I've explained just a little bit.

I definitely plan to have them chart for at least 3 months once their periods get established (can we say homeschool health class?) and then they can choose whether or not to continue.

I think those teen charts mentioned in the Simcha's post sound awesome.

[Christy P.]

Sharing information with young women AND men about how cycles work should be a priority.

Non-Catholic commenter here, so feel free to mock me if everyone is aware of this, but I think that Teen Star is a great, very cool thing. From teenstar.org "TeenSTAR (Sexuality Teaching in the context of Adult Responsibility) is a developmental curriculum which uses learning one's fertility pattern to teach responsible decision-making and communication skills in the area of sexual behavior and enhances teens' self-understanding and self-esteem. Can be offered once a week in health, physical education, family life, biology or sociology class for two semesters. Best results for primary prevention if offered in grades 7-9. A one-week training workshop required. "

[Kathy]

For sure, learning to chart when you're not planning on being sexually active is a great idea. I remember our first NFP class (I became Catholic about a year into our marriage) when the teacher said "And so you're going to have to abstain for the next two weeks." And my husband laughed. Until he realized she was serious. And it was his birthday too. I'll never live that down.

[bearing]

Christy, I don't think TeenSTAR is nearly well enough publicized in Catholic circles. It really should be. It isn't uncommon to see people praising Toni Weschler's stuff, but I don't think I've ever seen anyone make a reference to TeenSTAR in any Catholic NFP forum (or education forum either).

You want to go over to Simcha's and make a plug for it? She's got a fairly big audience.

[bearing]

Which reminds me, I have a (male) SEVENTH GRADER now and so I probably have to start thinking seriously about sociobiology curricula myself....

[Cathie]

I was one of those people blessed with fertility signs EARLY and REGULAR enough that I saw a pattern. The pattern has more of less held for 30+ years. I realized early on there was a pattern, but didn't really understand it until high school.

Now, while I was Catholic growing up, I wasn't really raised Catholic. Dad was Catholic, but also the non-custodial parent. I had a bizarre fascination of fertility and babies in high school. So much so, I had declared my sophomore year in highs school that I wanted to be an OB when I grew up. I took Anatomy and Physiology in my Junior year and opted out of Biology (for strange, dissenting reasons.) My real education in fertility came from my high school choir teacher, who's wife was an RN and I knew very well, when he handed me the book _Your Baby's Sex: Now You Can Choose_ by Dr. Landrum Shettles. He checked with my mom first, of course. It clearly explained female fertility because the ultimate goal was pregnancy with gender selection!

I had to write a paper for my A&P class and it was on the gender selection. My poor A&P teacher practically had heart failure. I went into my senior year knowing full-well what my body was doing.

My point of explaining all that is that fertility can be taught under a wide variety of guises. I think if we can repackage it in terms of biology and not fertility, girls would greatly benefit from that process.

[Tracy]

I read the Toni Weschler book when I was a newlywed. I wasn't a practicing Catholic, but I was actually trying to get pregnant. I had the same thought about being lied to, or at least passively deceived. I am going to check out that TeenStar site for my daughter.