Minnesota Mom has a post with a couple of anecdotes, including this one:
I was on my way to confession (not surprisingly) and Mass at the Cathedral, and at one of the stoplights there was a man with a sign.
There are often people at this particular intersection. Usually, we drive right past because my husband would rather give the money to charity. “I don’t want to fund their habit,” he says, and he’s right. Most of these people want a few bucks for cheap booze…but we don’t really know and when you’re stopped right there…
I just felt guilty and awkward for not acknowledging him.
I took a dollar bill from my purse and rolled down the window. The man hoisted himself to his feet—he had a cane—and proceeded to stagger over. He was really, really staggering and I thought, “Oh great. He is drunk and I’m an enabler.”Then he fell on the grass and tried to get back up.
He fell again. He couldn’t do it.
“Just…just give it to me!” he muttered, embarrassed, but I really couldn’t reach him and felt awful—just awful. The light turned green and there was a line behind me. I opened the door. I grasped his hand and pulled him up.
As I got back in the car and drove away—my heart nearly exploding in my chest—I thought two things. One, I thought about how soft that poor man’s hand had been, and how tightly he grasped mine when I extended it.
Click over to read the rest if you like.
Is there anyone in the city who doesn't have an encounter like this once in a while, with the guilty looking-away? I don't have all the answers, and I don't always live up to my convictions (read: I pretty often don't.)
But some time ago I found some of the answers in Deus Caritas Est, Benedict XVI's first encyclical which was released on Christmas Day in 2005 (and which I didn't get around to reading until a year and a half later).
Reading it gave me the conviction that even if you are certain it's better not to give handouts to beggars, the one thing we may not do is refuse to acknowledge them.
Look people in the eye. Smile or nod. If you're not behind a car window, say "Hi" or "Good morning," the way you would to any stranger you pass on the sidewalk.
That can be really hard to do when you've already decided you aren't going to give him or her any money or food, or if your pockets are empty, but pretending a person isn't there is simply not an option for the Christian.
If you feel ashamed to look someone in the eye and not to give him what he asks, I guess you're just going to have to feel ashamed, possibly right along with the man or woman who has the sign.
It won't kill you.
These are the words of Matthew 5:42, which comes after the Beatitudes, between the teachings on retaliation and the teachings on loving your enemies:
Give to the one who asks of you, and do not turn your back on the one who wants to borrow.
It doesn't say "Give anyone who asks of you exactly what they are asking for," and it doesn't say "Lend to everyone who wants to borrow." It says "Give" and it says "Do not turn your back."
It doesn't tell you exactly what to give, but one would think that giving nothing at all, not even a kind look, has been definitively ruled out. One would think turning away, so as not to have to see the cardboard sign, to be out of the question.
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(I wrote about this at greater length back in 2007 when I had just finished reading Deus Caritas Est. Here's that post, which includes quotes from the document to support my discussion.)
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