Just like a movie.

Q.  What do these two films have in common?

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First:  The 1981 miniseries adaptation of Evelyn Waugh's classic novel Brideshead Revisited:  The Sacred & Profane Memories of Captain Charles Ryder.   This British production ran for 11 episodes and starred Jeremy Irons  as the somewhat awestruck protagonist of "no family or money" who becomes entangled in the intense family drama surrounding wealthy and eccentric school-chum Lord Sebastian Flyte.  Themes of aristocracy, addiction, decadence, and redemption dominate.  The series won several prestigious awards, including BAFTA television awards for best drama series, best costume design, and best actor, and numerous Golden Globes and Primetime Emmy awards in the U. S.

 

 

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  Second:   Tropic Thunder, a 2008 movie directed by Ben Stiller, in which Robert Downey, Jr. appears in blackface. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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If you guessed, "These are the  two movies personally recommended to the author of this blog by the authors of DarwinCatholic Blog during a jambalaya-fueled, nine-children-strong sleepover, complete with a midnight power outage that necessitated burning their Advent wreath down to waxy nubbins so we could see well enough not to spill our drinks," well, then, you win.

Somewhat improbably, I suppose.

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"This is great, Dad!  It's just like a movie!" exclaimed my twelve-year-old when Darwin and Mark brought some candles up to the bedroom that my two oldest boys were sharing with us.

"Yeah!  And now's when the monster should come and get us!" chimed in my nine-year-old. 

No monsters, sad to say, but I think it will have been memorable nonetheless.

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Despite never going to any official convention-type gatherings, I have been lucky enough to meet several other bloggers (or mail-list colleagues) in person by now.  Blogging is an exhiliarating hobby for a semi-recluse like me; to myself I seem more expressive in writing than in person, certainly more comfortable.   I love getting to know other people through text, and it's always a little intimidating meeting them in person -- because I know that sometimes there are surprises, wow-your-voice-doesn't-sound-anything-like-I-imagined-it moments.

Not always, mind you.  Some of the people I've met have meshed seamlessly with the picture in my head created by their online persona.  But there are enough discrepancies to be jarring, and that makes me wonder what kind of impression I produce when I am "finally" met face to face.

Having met the Darwins, kids and all, for two multi-hour visits (about a year apart) now, I have discovered something:  Time resolves these discrepancies.

 Having gotten to know their online personae pretty well in years of blogreading, I had  had a real "wow, you're different from how I imagined you" moment on that first visit.  The second time, though, the dual images before us ---- the real people who welcomed us into their big old house and let our kids pack down the snow in the driveway with their sleds, and the husband-and-wife blogging team we know from the combox -- seemed to me to waver and cross, to come together and make more sense.  Maybe it was me loosening up (like I said, I'm intimidated by these first-time meetings), or maybe it was the chance to read Darwin Catholic Blog for a year while hearing the real voices of the narrators in my head, or maybe it is just the effects of a few hours' conversation.

I wonder if it's related to an odd thing I noticed:  When you're heading out to meet a blogger in person for the first time, and you're on the road with your cell phone and you've got their number, and you need to say "hey, I'll be just a couple minutes late, you'll know me because I'm wearing a red hat"--- doesn't it seem like it would be wrong, a major faux pas, to call them on their cell and make them answer it and listen to their voice?  You send a text or an instant message, don't you?  Doesn't it feel impossible to do anything else?  Am I right?

Comments

[Melanie]

My first face to face meeting with the Darwins definitely had that feeling of "you're not at all how I imagined you'd be". Especially as back then I don't think they'd ever posted pictures of themselves on the blog. But now when I read their blog it definitely has their voices. That's been the case with all the bloggers I've met.

When I read your blog I don't give you an accent or really imagine a spoken voice at all. Now I'm wondering what you'd sound like.

[Bearing]

You'll have to ask the Darwins. Although I can assure you that I do not have an accent, because I am from the north side of Dayton, Ohio. We have the American neutral accent, and all others are defined relative to us.

[Jenny]

Funny that you bring up accents because every blog I read is filtered through the Southern accent in my head. I expect everyone to have a Southern accent and then I'm taken aback when they don't which is dumb because my husband doesn't even have a Southern accent. But it is what I always expect and then I have to readjust.

[MelanieB]

Well, I don't have a Southern accent, despite being from Texas. Unless I'm in Texas or around people speaking Southern. Then I kind of shift into it.

[Darwin]

Hmmm, now I'm finding myself very curious as to what we were expected to be like from our online persona and how our real life person differed. Aside from my strong Australian accent...

I'm not sure I've ever had someone seem strongly different in person than I'd expected form their writing, but then, I'm not sure I form a strong impression of personal details from people's writing. It's more that I find meeting people online enjoyable because it allows more free-ranging conversation and because the awkward preliminaries of feeling out how much I have in common with someone and what topics we can talk about safely without offense is already done with.

[MelanieB]

Darwin, The biggest shock was how young you both were. From your online personas at the time, I sort of had this impression of an older couple. I think now you've become much more forthcoming about the family and about yourselves on the blog, but at the time I thought your voice sounded much more serious than I think it is now that I know you in person.

I have to say, since we're talking blog voices, that had I "met" Dom first on his blog instead of face to face I probably wouldn't ever have given him the time of day. Boy did he come across as such a hot head when I first started reading his blog. But he seemed so much more reasonable and likeable in person.

I agree that I'm more comfortable meeting people online first because it does seem like when you meet face to face you jump past so many of those awkward preliminaries that make meeting people such a trial to me.

[Bearing]

I expected Darwin to be wordier in person, and I expected MrsDarwin to converse more slowly and deliberately, than real life proved.

Your posts are carefully crafted (or at least appear so!) and often detailed and long. Hence the impression of, hm, erudite deliberateness. Not that your real life personae caused that impression to crash and burn or anything, but it was fun to experience the mental realignment. It is really just a matter of *voice* -- of matching the metaphorical one we speak of writers having, with the literal one of speech-patterns.

[MrsDarwin]

We tend to look fairly young for our age, all my gray hair not withstanding. But I've always been fairly loquacious (a word my sixth grade teacher made me look up). Darwin, while not the strong and silent type -- thank God! -- doesn't tend to be chatty in social situations unless he feels on fairly solid ground, while I can make conversation about almost anything.

One thing that surprised us on first meeting you, Bearing, was a) how very petite you are!, and b) how easy you were to talk to, since you've written several times about feeling awkward making small talk in some social situations. But of course you and Mark were perfectly delightful. :) Since we'd met you before, we knew that we'd have a fine time this Christmas, and so we did.

We're just eating Mary Jane's candy snowflake today, so she's much in our thoughts now.

[Bearing]

I hope it's yummy. The Wilton Candy Melts-in-a-cookie-cutter was an extremely easy project for a six-year-old to do with help. I will do it again.

I'm amused that my petiteness shocked you. I *told* everyone that I was less than five feet tall. Several times.

[Mark]

Perhaps Bearing's awkwardness went away because we had a house full of children playing gleefully.