Elisabeth Leseur's "An Essay on the Christian Life of Women," III. Duty to family: immediate, extended, neighbor.

Continuing a series on the writings of Elisabeth Leseur, which I started here and continued here.

Last time I quoted some of Elisabeth's advice to her niece:

From now on you ought to prepare yourself for this great task that is required of each of us... All Christians have the same aim and ideal, in every age... But circumstances require them to adapt their mode of action...

As a matter of fact, our Christian duty appears under a threefold aspect--

• intellectual,
• familial,
• and social.

I went on to cover the section about education and intellectual development, and now I want to move on to the other two aspects of Christian duty.

Leseur on a Christian woman's familial duty

Your second responsibility is for your family... With the church, I believe that the whole structure of our moral, national, and social life is based on the family, and I am convinced that everything done for the family enhances the greatness and strength of peoples and societies; on the other hand, they are irretrievably destroyed as soon as the family, the cornerstone of the structure, is attacked.

Thus, you will do all you can to strengthen in every way respect for family life. 

Elisabeth here develops the theme of concentric circles, from the private to the public, where development of an "interior" aspect illuminates the "exterior" aspects.  That "light-flowing-from-center-to-outside" concept appears explicitly in her following directions:

Later on, when you have your own family, you will make your home a warm and lively center of influence, and you will be a guiding spirit for those who live in the light that you spread.

 You will be a friend and companion to your husband, and a guide and model of moral strength to your children.  

For the woman of faith, the return for such perseverance, Elisabeth promises, is "one of those mysterious compensations, unknown on a purely human level but known only in God:" 

You will possess that precious treasure... a serenity and peace of mind that nothing can destroy, neither trials nor losses, since God is their source, and God gives them [serenity and peace of mind] sometimes in proportion to our sufferings.

To me, this sounds like more development of Elisabeth's theme that the gift of faith adds to and transforms the gifts (and corresponding responsibilities) that are natural, without taking anything away from those natural gifts.  I get the impression that Elisabeth would also advise a "natural" (unbelieving) woman to strengthen respect for family life, to make her home warm and lively and influential for the good, to befriend her husband, to guide her children.  These duties can be difficult by their nature; but because Elisabeth trusts that her niece will have faith, she promises that the experience of difficulties will be transformed.

(The difference, I think, is that in the light of faith the difficulties we encounter -- our suffering -- is not meaningless, but has meaning.)

Then, and even now, in the midst of your extended family --

(clever with the "even now!"  Elisabeth represents, of course, Marie's "extended family" at present.)

   -- you will develop the habit through daily effort and the help of God's grace to "possess your soul in peace," to be gently and lovingly composed in your attitude towards events, people, and life itself.  

Sometimes managing to smile requires true heroism; may your smile, whether thoughtful or joyful, always do good.

I like the distinction between "joyful" smiles and "thoughtful" smiles.  Nothing there about fake vs. real smiles; it's more like "spontaneous" vs. "deliberate."  

You will meet many people throughout your life, but by preference go to the weakest, the most embittered, and the most marginalized, and regardless of your trials and sorrows, you should know "to rejoice with those who rejoice," and to share in the happiness of others.

I find this last bit interesting, appearing as it does in the section of the letter devoted to "family - extended" rather than in the section which follows about "society."  Perhaps Elisabeth meant only a stylistic segue as she moves outward from the family, to the extended family, to the society.  I also see in the placement of this mention a notion that the people whom we encounter "in person" are more like "extra-extended family" than they are like faceless representatives of "society."  I think the word we're going for here is "neighbor," anyone who can know us and be known by us.

So the advice we have from Elisabeth as regards family -- although she expresses it more as a confident prediction than as counsel -- is:

• Do all you can to strengthen respect for family life
• Make your home a warm and lively center of influence
• To those who live in that influence, be a "guiding spirit"
• To your husband, be a friend and companion
• To your children, be a guide, and a model of moral strength
• When family duty is hard, expect faith to supply consolations
• In reaction to events, people, and life:  make daily effort to achieve composure, asking for God's help
• With effort -- sometimes a heroic one -- you can manage a "thoughtful" smile that may do good
• By preference go to "the weakest, the most embittered, and the most marginalized"
• Even in the midst of your own trials, "rejoice with those who rejoice"

Elisabeth's center-to-outward theme expands in the next part, duty to society.  Next time!

 

Comments

[MrsDarwin]

I really appreciate this series. Thanks for bringing Elisabeth Leseur to our attention -- I've ordered the book, and just reading the biographical intro has given me so much to think about and mediate on.

I love the distinction you've made between the types of smiles -- a spontaneous/deliberate distinction, which still assumes the practice of virtue. I've grown very tired of models of etiquette (particularly advice for dealing with the opposite sex) which assumes an adversarial relationship with humanity rather than a virtue-based system of interaction.

[Jenny]

"Your second responsibility is for your family... With the church, I believe that the whole structure of our moral, national, and social life is based on the family, and I am convinced that everything done for the family enhances the greatness and strength of peoples and societies; on the other hand, they are irretrievably destroyed as soon as the family, the cornerstone of the structure, is attacked."

Such a powerful quote given the near complete destruction of family life in some segments of society. I wonder if people have always felt like family life was under siege or if that is special to our age. Casti Connubii was written about twenty years after these letters. Was there an air of impending doom during that time suggesting the family was about to be destroyed? I feel that we live with the fallout from society not heeding their advice.

[bearing]

We certainly do live with the fallout.

I'm not so sure I would say that the "greatness and strength" of a society is "irretrievably destroyed as soon as the family... is attacked." Irretrievably? As soon as the (first) attack happens? I think that's overstating it. But attacks on the family do risk undermining the social structure.

[Jenny]

I agree it is overstated. It takes sustained attacks to irretrievably destroy anything. Even now I do not believe society has been irretrievably destroyed though the family has endured 100 years of attack. I just keep running into quotes from the first half of the 20th century that basically say, "Mess with the family and you will pay a terrible price." And what did we do? Messed with the family.

[Bearing]

We are definitely paying a terrible price. But there remains hope that it is not irretrievable.