New baby's resolution four: Don't get bogged down in scheduling specific tasks.

Part of a series that starts here.  We're coming up with resolutions -- not in honor of the new year, but instead of a new baby's arrival and consequent disruption of all the routines that had been serving us well.

Resolution zero:  to acknowledge our family's most important priorities and give each their due

Resolution one:  of these, designate four as "all-the-time" intentions:

• Serve God
• Show love, interest, and delight in one another
• Model reason, generosity, and kindness to resolve conflict
• Teach diligence

Resolution two:  Simplify the list of things we must "make time for."  I got it down to this:

• Rest
• Self-care
• Meals
• Learning time (since we're homeschoolers)
• Activities
• Work (a.k.a., the to-do list)

Resolution three:  to accept the limits on my time, spending it on a few choice tasks and letting go of the rest of the to-do list

+ + +

In the last post  I calculated that, on a typical weekday, I have somewhere between 4 and 5 hours to accomplish tasks of the sort that I might put on a to-do list. 

I don't say, "I have 4-5 hours to knock all the items off my to-do list."  That's because Resolution Three requires me to accept that I will never get them all. 

(I'm thinking that the "to-do" list needs a different name.  "Could-do" list?  No, still implies possibility of completion.  "Might-do" list?  "Task menu?"  Will have to think more.)

 This kind of work includes

• work for the children's schooling including long-term planning, yearly curriculum selection and purchasing, weekly lesson preparation, evaluation and record-keeping
• work for the familyincluding laundry and clothes-buying; dishes; tidying; meal planning and grocery shopping; cooking dinner; and maintaining the family appointment calendar
• work for others including volunteer commitments, helping friends, and any paid work;
• creative work including hobbies, blogging, self-improvement, and other satisfying personal projects

When I made schedules in the past, I thought I had to "do everything" at least once in a while.  That meant that I had to find a time for each task on my list.  If there wasn't enough time to do each thing as often as I needed, I would just have to do everything less frequently:  instead of mopping every week, I'll mop every two weeks.

I did all this by slotting many tasks into specific times of the day or week or month.  For example, Thursday mornings between the end of breakfast and the start of co-schooling was Time To Put Away All The Accumulated Clean Laundry.   Time For Weekly Lesson Planning was Wednesday evening while the children were at church for catechism class.  Set Up All The Week's School Materials Time was Sunday night right before bed.  Blogging Time?  Mornings, before kids get up.

But I didn't always do what I said I was going to do, either because another task felt more urgent or because I thought of some other task I preferred. 

(Often, blogging.)

And then I would berate myself for departing from the schedule, particularly later when I couldn't find any matching socks or graph paper.   I would do this even if it turned out to have been a good trade-off.  There wasn't any room for flexibility or forgiveness. 

I'm just not a flexible sort of person; I'll probably always feel kind of bad about changing my plans.  I therefore conclude that I ought to make less specific plans.  If I don't get around to a particular task now, because it's not so urgent, well -- sooner or later it will become urgent and command my attention.

+ + +

But I don't want to get carried away doing only housework, or only school planning -- the two categories that often masquerade as SUPER URGENT MUST DO for days at a time.  I need to use some of my time for creative outlets as well, so I can stay recharged and sharp.  Also, I owe at least a little bit of work to other people.

+ + +

Resolution Four is about the moment of choosing which tasks will and won't happen in the four hours and change that I have available for it every day. 

I resolve to regularly choose tasks from the categories of creative work, work for the family, work for others, and work for the kids' school. 

I'm not promising equal time for each category and I'm not promising to hit every category every day.  But I am resolving to hit them all in their turn, each day choosing what makes the most sense for that day, and -- what's harder -- letting go of what doesn't.

 

Comments

[jenny]

Have you happened upon the blog "Amongst Lovely Things"? She recently-ish had twins and has been re-adjusting her homeschooling life accordingly. An idea she has which appeals greatly to me is the idea of "looping" (here's a link to a recent post she had about it: http://www.amongstlovelythings.com/2014/02/looping-task-management-for-recovering.html#.UwJWh85ni0s). It seems like you might be able to consider her method with some of your "would-like-to-get-done items".

[bearing]

jenny: OMG this is me:

"My problem with schedules, routines, and general task management systems is this: most of them feed into my tendency to prioritize getting stuff done over building relationships. It's the nature of a list of tasks to put priority on the doing, and my git-'er-done personality tends to take that up a notch... steamrolling over everybody in my zeal to check everything off my list. That's something I really struggle with."

DEFINITELY checking this out. Thanks!

[Monica]

That's so funny! I was going to refer to the Amongst Lovely Things post, too, because calling something a loop doesn't have the pressure of the to-do list, but also doesn't mean it gets completely lost.

Also, I think one of the hardest things with a new baby is figuring out what time slots you do have. I'm expecting number 5 in the early summer, and trying to remember all that goes into the readjustment process. Right now, I know basically which time slots need my full attention and which ones can be manipulated to make room for a grocery trip, etc. But a new baby brings a whole new schedule, and I think that's the thing that throws me, because I like to be able to think ahead of time, "I'll make the trip to the store at this time." And the even more fun trick is that the new baby's schedule changes with much more frequency than anyone else's for the first year or so...