I just created a new category: Sane Mom Revolution. This title is an homage/theft directed at Jamie, who came up with the phrasing in this great post that I've already written about.
I decided the phrase was so awesome, and so exactly what is needed, that it should be a hashtag: #sanemomrevolution. I have not much chance of going viral with it, but I'll try. Here's what I put on Twitter:
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So I only have 37 followers but maybe you can help me go viral with #sanemomrevolution based on this...: http://t.co/DUjFG83k4V
— (@erinarlinghaus) August 8, 2014
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Here's the idea: Post what "adventure" you've allowed your kids on, add the tag #sanemomrevolution
— (@erinarlinghaus) August 8, 2014
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Example: Wed, I sent my 13yo son to take city bus into dwntwn Mpls to buy his own school supplies. He ret'd alive. #sanemomrevolution
— (@erinarlinghaus) August 8, 2014
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The point of #sanemomrevolution is to post success stories, not another "look what some nutcase reported a mom for" scaremongering story.
— (@erinarlinghaus) August 8, 2014
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Jamie later wrote another post on the subject:
But maybe my best argument today for a Sane Mom Revolution is this: my two teenagers, now 14 and 17, were slouching in front of screens this afternoon when I said, "Hey, did you guys want to see that Shakespeare tragedy? This matinee is your last chance. You'd have to go right now." I kid you not: they jumped up and put on their shoes. My oldest said, "What's the best way to walk to that building?" and then answered his own question. They marched over to the box office and bought their own tickets, and I have every confidence that they are sitting quietly through the performance right now.
It might not be Shakespeare for your family.....maybe the leisure activity you hope your kids will enjoy as adults is running or biking or museum-ing or coffeehouse chess or something entirely different.
Or maybe you just wish your kids could run down to CVS and pick up a new toothbrush while you cook dinner.
Entertaining oneself in the real world, running errands capably alone-- these are important life skills that do not descend on kids like an anvil made of competent adult-ness. It used to be completely normal for kids to walk themselves to the ice cream store, allowance in hand.
I'm with Jamie on this. We want it to be completely normal, once again. Hence, this new category, and the hashtag. There's not a lot there yet, but check in on #sanemomrevolution at Twitter and see if you don't have anything to add.
Q. Don't we already have Free Range Kids? Isn't that a good hashtag to stick with?
A. We are all indebted to Lenore Skenazy for sending her 9-year-old on the subway, getting branded "Worst Mom In America," and subsequently writing a book and appearing on talk shows. I heartily recommend her website for resources and inspiration. However, one of her tools is shaming cops and nosy neighbors by publicizing outrageous stories about mothers being arrested for letting kids play in the park, etc.
I'm all for shaming these people, but repeatedly reading these stories is not without cost. The problem, so well articulated by Jamie, is that when we pass around stories of Moms Who Got Arrested And/Or Reported To CPS, it adds another layer of media-instilled fear. We need success stories and conversation among other sane moms. And that's what the hashtag #sanemomrevolution is for. Not more outrage, but less.
Q. Is #sanemomrevolution just for success stories, then, or can we use it to discuss how to bring the revolution about?
A. Not just success stories, but questions and discussions among fellow sane moms. Questions like: How old was your kid when you first let him do X? What real data do we have about risks to children? What are the risks of "safety first?" How do we evaluate our kids' readiness? Stuff like that. What #sanemomrevolution questions will have in common is that they are ordered towards encouraging age- and maturity-appropriate independence... not towards SAFETY AT ALL COSTS.
Q. Do you have other thoughts on this subject in the queue?
A. Indeed, I do, thanks to my FB friends I have a discussion all pre-loaded and ready to post soon.
Q. Do you envision a moderated discussion group of some kind for this?
A. I am seriously considering it, so stay tuned, and if you have suggestions for which platform to use, please leave them in the comments.
I let the 13 year old kid ride 4 miles one way on his bike with friends to the Dollar Store. Dollar Store is on a very, very busy street which they would have to cross. Then they had to navigate a very bike-unfriendly strip mall/parking lot/home-improvement center area to get to the Dollar Store. I did keep track of them via Find My IPhone app. They stopped at a park for about a half hour (they didn't know I was checking up on them). They returned, happy and exhausted. And, a little more responsible and capable, I'm sure. The mom of the other kids was nervous, but let them go. I'm so grateful I have a compatriot in the neighborhood!
Posted by: kim | 17 August 2014 at 10:07 PM
You are making me tweet. #sanemomrevolution
Posted by: Christy P. | 21 August 2014 at 01:07 PM