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22 January 2015


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Oh I'm glad to read this! Not glad for the troubles, however. I am in the middle of a post of how I screwed up the system. Kinda.

LeeAnn Balbirona

I LOVE that you delegated the job to your teenager and that he offered to do it in the first place.

There is something I've seen among my kids in small bursts, the younger kids looking up to the oldest for their cues, admiring her, listening to her advice, wanting to sit next to her at the movies, etc. So, I think this is when you can feel good that all your careful parenting of your eldest pays off a little bit. She isn't replacing me, just arriving at a more mature role of leadership in the family.

I have an allowance system set up with a pretty loose chore system, but they all do their own laundry (except the 8yo) and help out as directed. I use a quarterly calendar to keep track and pay them out weekly, with th e instruction to save half for savings to deposit at the bank every three months. I could just save it for them, but I want them to learn to have money on hand and not spend it. They have to learn to monitor how much they have left to make their savings payment. (Again, this doesn't work with the 8yo. He's forever asking for advances to buy gems on ipad apps.)

It's good to keep re-evaluating your system. I'm interested to hear what your teen comes up with. :)


Okay now that I got my own system collapse out of my head, I can look at yours.

I would evaluate which is more important to you: that the work gets done or that they do it without reminders. I'd love for mine to not need the constant reminders, but that isn't going to happen so I would rather remind and have it done than not remind and leave it.

I also think you are likely to have more buy-in if your oldest designs the system. I am interested to see what he comes up with.

Melanie B

This is so interesting. It's not surprising, in retrospect, that it collapsed. But in planning for such a big trip, it's hard to also think about life post-trip at the same time.

I'm very intrigued to see what your teenager will come up with. And how delightful that he decided to step up and offer. I suspect his taking ownership of it will in itself make the system not only work better for him but perhaps for the others too.


Ditto on looking forward what your son comes up with. We just spent a whole school morning rebooting our school schedule, expectations, and chores. It was very collaborative and I hope that brings more buy-in from all of the kids. Something had to/has to give around here. I love reading how other families tackle these issues!

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